Keep household rules and discipline the same.

Be specific without using jargon or confusing words.
Example: "Daddy is not going to work at Company X anymore. He will be looking for a new job."

Explain changes to their routine.
Examples: "Daddy will be home during the day and with you after school."
"Mommy will be working longer hours until I go back to work, but Grandma or I will be home after school to take care of you."

Although it seems obvious, remind young children that the loss or changes are not their fault.

Use feeling words.
Examples: "Mommy is sad about not working at Company X, but I am going to be alright."
"I am sad about not going to Florida this year, too. I hope we can go next year."

Ask them about their feelings.
Example: "How do you feel about Daddy not working at Company X anymore?"

Be available to answer questions honestly and openly.

Thank them for their cooperation and understanding.
Example: "It is very helpful to Mommy that you can take the bus in the morning. I am proud of you."

Even though you have a right to your privacy, consider letting the important adults in your child's life, such as teachers and daycare providers, know what is happening. They can be an additional source of support and monitoring.

Don't make promises you cannot keep.
Examples: "I am sure I will have a job very soon."
"You will like being at Grandma's after school better than being home."

Don't provide information about things that might happen. Discuss things as they occur.

Don't have emotional discussions or arguments within earshot of your children.

Don't take your frustrations out on your kids.
Example: "Stop whining; I'm having a bad day."

Don't discourage or punish kids for expressing negative emotions or for asking questions.
Examples: "Don't ask Daddy about why he isn't working anymore."
"It's not fair to blame Daddy for not having the babysitter anymore."

Keep household rules and discipline the same.

Reference current events and use terminology that they have heard.
Example: "I know you've hear on the news that many people are out of jobs. Well, Dad was laid off from work. That means he won't be working at Company X anymore."

Explain how you plan to cope with the situation and how they can help.
Example: "I am going to be looking for a new job. I have many friends and contacts that will be helping me. Mom is going to babysit some of the neighborhood kids to make some money. You can help Mom after school when your homework is done."

Explain how this loss will affect their lives.
Example: "We will need to cut back a little on our spending, which means we might be able to go shopping as often."
"We have to limit how much we spend. We won't be going out to eat on Friday nights until Mom gets a new job."

Allow them to express their feelings, even ones that seem selfish.
Example: "I know it seems unfair that I won't give you the money to go to the movies. Unfortunately it isn't something we can afford now, but you can babysit for the X family to make some money of your own."

Check in with them regularly to see what they are feeling and how they are coping.

Thank them for their cooperation and understanding.

Don't make promises you cannot keep.

Don't provide information about things that might happen. Discuss things as they occur.

Don't have emotional discussions or arguments within earshot of your children.

Don't pretend. Kids in this age group can sense when things aren't going well and do better when you are up front and tell the truth about your feelings and situation.

Don't concern kids with "grown-up problems," even if they appear to have some understanding about them.

Don't assume they're unaffected if you don't see a visible reaction. Kids try to protect their parents; they may not want to ask questions or say how they feel to protect you.

Keep household rules and discipline the same.

Use terminology that they have heard and reference current events.

Explain how you plan to cope with the situation and how they can help.
Examples: "We would like you to get a job after school, so you can continue to enjoy activities such as traveling to baseball."
"We would like you to watch your sister after school, so we can save money on daycare."

Discuss how the loss affects them.
Example: "You can still go to college next year, but you will need to get a loan and we will help you."

Try to make this a learning opportunity.
Example: "I have learned a lot about myself and my job interest through this loss; what you have learned?"

Allow them to express all their thoughts and feelings.

Expect respect.
Example: "You can be angry about not having money for the movies, but you need to be respectful when you speak to me."

Don't make promises you cannot keep.

Don't have emotional discussion or arguments within earshot of your children.

Don't pretend. Teenagers can sense when things aren't going well and do better when are up front and tell the truth about your feelings and the situation.

Don't concern teenagers with "grown-up problems." Although they can have a sophisticated understanding of the issues, they are not "mini-adults."

Although it's necessary and appropriate at times, don't rely on them too much to care for younger kids.